By Laura Lewis @CrazyBeautifulGuru

I have a Crazy Beautiful memory that I wanted to share with you. Years ago, I had a personal totem pole exploration session with a wonderful psychologist named Dr. Qatana Samenen. (It used to be Jeanette, but that’s another story.) Dr. Samanen has a particular interest in “Interactive Imagery” and that is exactly what my experience was within the session.  She asked me to close my eyes, took me through various relaxation exercises, and then, she began to gently beat a drum…

Dr. Samanen asked me to tune into my chakras, or energy centers, one at a time, for spirit animals. And to tap into anything that came up that seemed relevant to the images.  I was hesitant at first. Animals, in my chakras? However, as I tuned into my root chakra, at the base of my spine, the first animal surprisingly made its appearance.

I laughed out loud as it was a badger!

What? Of course, it made perfect sense right? Low to the ground, fierce! The root chakra is about survival. Badger was perfect. As I moved up from the lower chakra to the one above, the sacral chakra (I don’t remember this animal), then to the solar plexus, a gorgeous red fox revealed itself. How interesting, I thought. So beautiful yet known to be sharp and smart located in my power center. I couldn’t wait to see what was next. I was in the personal totem pole flow!

I  then tuned into my heart–and there it was.

A wolf.

Powerful and strong. Guarding something. At first, I thought it was simply guarding my heart. Yet, behind the wolf was a rabbit.  A gentle, sweet little thing– and the wolf was its guardian. A rabbit and a wolf? I was confused however, Dr. Samanen said to just go with it. I mean seriously, if you were going through this type of imagery, a visual journey and the wolf-rabbit combo popped up, you would be confused too.

The rest of my chakras revealed birds. In particular, a hawk in my third eye (how fitting!) and an eagle at my crown. Heavenly and perfect. I’ve always resonated with birds.

After I finished my personal totem pole session with Dr. Samanen, I couldn’t help but continue to reflect upon the significance of each of the animals that showed up. A badger. A fox. A wolf and a rabbit. A hawk and an eagle.

Six months after my session, I had one of the biggest losses of my life— my heart was shattered into a million pieces as I had suddenly become a young widow with two little girls, ages 3 and 6 years of age.

Wolf was at the ready. Rabbit protected. Surely she, my dear sweet “heart”, would have been destroyed by the shock of it all. I’ve come to know Wolf very well–she has helped me get in touch with my own warrior spirit. One that is resilient. One who can make it through the greatest of challenges. And one who can love fiercely.

Maybe Wolf was the reason why, as the girls got older, we used to play a game while riding in the car, with the windows open–we would howl like wolves. Then we would laugh, and giggle– seemingly reveling in the experience of being truly alive.

Photo of #Leonidas the wolf by Jennifer Ilene Photography 

To book your own Personal Totem Pole Session virtually with Dr. Samanen, click HERE to learn more.