The act of forgiveness is a powerful act indeed. Forgiving someone who has harmed you or someone close to you can be a very difficult task. I’ve experienced my share of hurt—and some of those hurts were so big, so painful, that at the time they seemed unforgivable. But in my experience, my unwillingness to forgive led me to feel consumed by negativity. I ultimately found that this negativity clouded my vision and prevented me from seeing the good in life, and the good in people. It wasn’t until I met Dr. Barbara Graham that I learned how to forgive.
Dr. Graham is a forgiveness expert. At first glance, she seems rather like a cross between a strict Catholic nun and a cookie-baking grandma. Now when I think of her, I picture her as Wonder Woman! Her keen insight, strength of character, extensive knowledge and compassionate heart make her a force to be reckoned with—especially if you are stuck in the past, unable to forgive someone else or yourself.
When I met Dr. Graham, I had recently undergone an experience in which someone caused me deep pain. I was at a point where I could never imagine forgiving that person. But Dr. Graham introduced me to various techniques to help me to forgive, to move on, to see that healing only happens when you finally let go.
I’ve got to say, at the start I had my doubts. How could I ever forgive this person who had wronged me? I ultimately recognized, though, that I was expending a great deal of energy on someone from my past. This was energy that I could be harnessing to effect positive change in my life. Realizing this came as a huge “a-ha!” moment for me.
The process of forgiving wasn’t easy. But the result was worth it. I try now to live my life so that forgiveness comes naturally. This helps me to view life with better wisdom, to see below the surface of what’s happening. This broader view helps me to be a better coach, a better parent, a better friend and even a better partner.
When I think back on how I felt when I couldn’t forgive, I imagine a bird tethered to a tree branch with a leather cord. I see the anxious bird looking up at the sunshine, the clouds, the wide open blue sky—but it’s unable to fly, to thrive. Forgiving fully is like finally cutting that leather tie. To forgive is to be set free.
Learning to forgive, let go and move on is, I promise, one of the most powerful gifts you can give yourself.
Original post by Laura Lewis for Veria TV.